LOOKING FOR LOVE
Hey girls!
In my last blog, I talked about my life and how God brought it all together. Having a family that loves us (Zamora, my sisters, and I) unconditionally, cares about our needs, and to took us in as family is huge.
In this blog, I want to talk about love, relationship, and trust. I've always struggled having a relationship with loving men. Also, trusting people is one of the hardest things for me to do; considering all of the pain and trauma I have experienced. How could I trust?
But as I read Proverbs 3:5-6, it says, “Trust the Lord with all your HEART and lean not on your own understanding; in all your way submit to Him, and He will make your path straight." When I experience fear in relationships or struggle to trust God in the place I am in life, I read this verse over and over because I know if I just trust in the Lord, He will make my path in life clear. He will guide me in the relationship I am in if it is in His will and purpose for my life.
It’s hard for me to get into a relationship with someone because I have a child and she gets to attached to them. When things get serious, and I get hurt, and things go bad, I struggle emotionally. Zamora has been witness to all of the relationships I've been in and I never want her to experience the same feelings I have.
I have come to a point in life where I know no one could love me more than God does. As women, we seem to always think we need a man in our lives to make us complete. While I really don’t understand why we feel that way, I have come to realize that this reliance on having a “man” or a “boyfriend” is simply the world’s way. God is the only person we will need all the time. At the appropriate time, in line with His will, He will provide the man that is to be our husband. This requires constant focus, walking in the spirit, and keeping our eyes on Jesus every day.
As I sit here and process all the relationships I've been in and how heartbroken, lost, confused, and disappointed I have been, I know God will never leave me or cause me to experience this in my relationship with him. Having a relationship with God means to know Him and to be known by Him. Don’t get me wrong, there are times where I mess up, when I don't read my bible or give it all to Him. But God doesn’t stop loving me. His love for us is eternal. Scripture says, “Nothing can separate us from his love." (Romans 8)
With all of that being said, I was very young when I had Zamora. I was tasked with and made a huge decision to love her unconditionally and take care of her. I love watching her grow into a beautiful girl. As of today, I talk with her about knowing Jesus and knowing that He loves us and that He’s, her Father.
Being a single mother is hard and painful. I've learned that depression is real and because of this, I know that if I didn’t have Jesus by my side, through all of my pain, I would have given up. My prayer is that she doesn’t make the same mistakes in life I did and that she always knows her worth is in Christ.
Even though I may not have met him yet, I pray for my future husband. I pray that whomever he is, that I recognize him when he comes along and God has me prepared so that he may recognize me. We do not have to settle for less than God’s best. My future husband will be a Godly man and will treat me like the treasure the Lord says I am. He must live a surrendered life to God, not just in word but in how he acts. God says a man is to “love his wife as Christ loves the church, giving himself up for her."
Until that man comes along, I will wait and trust in the Lord with all my heart.
To all the women and girls out there, please read this and know that you don’t need a man to make you complete.
Real love found me and His name is Jesus. He is all I need.
He is all you need.
xoxo- Princessa