MEET BIYANKAH
Hello everyone! My name is Biyankah Gallaher. I am the mother of two precious children; AJ(3) and Aurora(1). They are the light of my life. I am engaged to be married to the love of my life, Makarious, at the end of the month.
Being a mother to an Autistic child can be quite challenging. I personally have struggled with getting frustrated, having a lack of patience, or even gotten onto AJ harder than I should have. I can remember times when I would say, "You know better!" ..but does he, really? Often, I find that I don't know how to "handle him." I have even told myself, "You're not equipped enough to be his mother." I would forget that I am not alone; that God is always there and that He is so good. I am so thankful that He sends people by to remind me that He has heard my cries and He helps me to "handle" him better.
See, it always seemed like every time I start becoming more patient and understanding with my son, not too long after, I get hit harder with more things and I beat myself up about them and I return to the lowest of lows.
I've realized that this happens because I had fallen short. I lacked staying prayed up and I would hear the enemies lies and begin to believe them. I've learned that, although it's not a bad thing, I can't pray for everyone else and not pray for myself.
You see, the enemy is making and and every way to distract you. He wants you to get frustrated. He wants you to get overwhelmed. He wants you to believe that you CAN'T be a great parent to you (Autistic) child. He doesn't want you to fulfill your purpose of parenting that God so graciously gave.
As parents to a broken generation, we have to understand that God gave us an assignment. He TRUSTS you with that assignment. He KNOWS you can take care of and raise this child. God just wants you to put Him in the center of it all. He will provide everything you need; you just have to present yourself (and your child) with a true heart. He wants you to tell Him how you feel, what's causing you to feel this way, and then, ask for His help. Yes, He already knows... but God wants to hear it from you.
Remember, our children are gifts. We must take care of what God gifts to us. We are the ones who will answer for everything that goes on with him/her.
If you aren't familiar with Autism, you must first know that each child is different. What REALLY goes through an Autistic child's mind? How can we get into their world to see what's causing them to act out or do the things they do? Autism is a neurodevelopmental disorder characterized by difficulties with social interaction and communication, and by restricted and repetitive behavior. Children with Autism have a hard time communicating so it frustrates them when they can't get out what they need and know you don't understand. They will do anything to get your attention if they don't think they are getting enough of your attention.
Even though AJ is three years old, I'm still learning him. One thing I know to be true is that he likes my hair. Yes, my hair. As a matter of fact, he loves my hair so much that I would consider it to be his comfort. He goes to sleep twirling my hair. Hair is his...thing.
When playing with others, it comes off as "mean" or "aggressive." He will throw dirt at them, push and/or pull them as a way of getting there attention. Once he has your attention, he expects you to chase him. He LOVES being chased. He has other activities that he enjoys too; painting, coloring. What makes AJ challenging at times is that he is nonverbal. It takes a special time with him to learn him; but when you do, you see that he is super smart. He hats shoes and socks and he loves water and being outside. He will only eat (certain) poptarts, french fries, PB&J sandwiches, and pizza. He also is sensory sensitive and it's sometimes funny. For instance, he loves water but if he touches it on a car, he freaks out. My most favorite thing about AJ (besides that he is mine) is that he loves hard. He can be very sweet.
**If anyone has any questions about how I handle certain situations, please feel free to to reach out to me! As a community of women who are called to complete the Kingdom, I believe that it is through sharing our stories and asking each other for help that we can truly fulfill this calling.
xoxo-Biyankah
Being a mother to an Autistic child can be quite challenging. I personally have struggled with getting frustrated, having a lack of patience, or even gotten onto AJ harder than I should have. I can remember times when I would say, "You know better!" ..but does he, really? Often, I find that I don't know how to "handle him." I have even told myself, "You're not equipped enough to be his mother." I would forget that I am not alone; that God is always there and that He is so good. I am so thankful that He sends people by to remind me that He has heard my cries and He helps me to "handle" him better.
See, it always seemed like every time I start becoming more patient and understanding with my son, not too long after, I get hit harder with more things and I beat myself up about them and I return to the lowest of lows.
I've realized that this happens because I had fallen short. I lacked staying prayed up and I would hear the enemies lies and begin to believe them. I've learned that, although it's not a bad thing, I can't pray for everyone else and not pray for myself.
You see, the enemy is making and and every way to distract you. He wants you to get frustrated. He wants you to get overwhelmed. He wants you to believe that you CAN'T be a great parent to you (Autistic) child. He doesn't want you to fulfill your purpose of parenting that God so graciously gave.
As parents to a broken generation, we have to understand that God gave us an assignment. He TRUSTS you with that assignment. He KNOWS you can take care of and raise this child. God just wants you to put Him in the center of it all. He will provide everything you need; you just have to present yourself (and your child) with a true heart. He wants you to tell Him how you feel, what's causing you to feel this way, and then, ask for His help. Yes, He already knows... but God wants to hear it from you.
Remember, our children are gifts. We must take care of what God gifts to us. We are the ones who will answer for everything that goes on with him/her.
If you aren't familiar with Autism, you must first know that each child is different. What REALLY goes through an Autistic child's mind? How can we get into their world to see what's causing them to act out or do the things they do? Autism is a neurodevelopmental disorder characterized by difficulties with social interaction and communication, and by restricted and repetitive behavior. Children with Autism have a hard time communicating so it frustrates them when they can't get out what they need and know you don't understand. They will do anything to get your attention if they don't think they are getting enough of your attention.
Even though AJ is three years old, I'm still learning him. One thing I know to be true is that he likes my hair. Yes, my hair. As a matter of fact, he loves my hair so much that I would consider it to be his comfort. He goes to sleep twirling my hair. Hair is his...thing.
When playing with others, it comes off as "mean" or "aggressive." He will throw dirt at them, push and/or pull them as a way of getting there attention. Once he has your attention, he expects you to chase him. He LOVES being chased. He has other activities that he enjoys too; painting, coloring. What makes AJ challenging at times is that he is nonverbal. It takes a special time with him to learn him; but when you do, you see that he is super smart. He hats shoes and socks and he loves water and being outside. He will only eat (certain) poptarts, french fries, PB&J sandwiches, and pizza. He also is sensory sensitive and it's sometimes funny. For instance, he loves water but if he touches it on a car, he freaks out. My most favorite thing about AJ (besides that he is mine) is that he loves hard. He can be very sweet.
**If anyone has any questions about how I handle certain situations, please feel free to to reach out to me! As a community of women who are called to complete the Kingdom, I believe that it is through sharing our stories and asking each other for help that we can truly fulfill this calling.
xoxo-Biyankah