WHEN YOU DON'T MEASURE UP
Have you ever found yourself playing the comparison game? If we're being honest, it probably happens often. Sometimes we do it without it even being a thought. It's a game that once we start playing, becomes habitual and hard to stop.
I can remember being a young child and saying those infamous words: "That's not fair." The comparison game starts as children, but we still do it as adults. We constantly worry about keeping up with the girl next door. Are our clothes trending? Is our home nice enough? Does our body look as good as society says it should be? Are we smart enough? The questions are never ending. Nowadays, with social media, we have everyone's "perfect” life right at our fingertips. How can we not constantly compare ourselves to those perfect pictures and captions? And honestly, how can we possibly keep up with it all? The "Perfect Instagram Life" is a lie. No one has a perfect life. Most of us show the moments of our lives that we're proud of; the happy, fun times that we WANT everyone to see. We want to be seen as having it all together, but I’m here to tell you that it isn’t possible.God created us with flaws.
I've found myself participating in the game. Most of the time I compare myself and I come up short. This leads to feeling like a failure, not feeling good enough, and even wallowing in self-pity. It creates a jealous, unhappy version of ourselves. Sometimes we can even be tricked into delighting in the failure of others because it reminds us that we aren't the only unfortunate ones. Ooof. When I get like this, I find myself becoming increasingly miserable. Nothing satisfies. I could spend $300 on home decor, and it still wouldn’t make me appreciate my home. I could go buy all the clothes I want, be happy for a moment, but then I'd find something else to complain about.
On the flip side, sometimes we can compare and come out on top. This creates arrogance and pride. We start to think we're better than others. I've been both versions of this girl. It's not pretty, and there is no winning this game. Comparison is a liar that eats away at the woman God created us to be. Comparison can manifest itself and affect multiple areas of our life.
When I first started singing at church, I felt like it was super clear that God had opened that door for me. But once I started participating, I felt mental opposition. Was I really good enough to sing with these people? I found myself comparing my talents, my weaknesses, and even questioning if God knew me as well as I did. I questioned my calling. I almost stepped down from leading worship just because I got caught up in the comparison game. I found myself questioning God's creation: me.
Do you know what we're doing when we talk down to ourselves? We're criticizing what God made. God does not make mistakes. He calls you and I his "masterpiece". God created us for such a time as this. He made us exactly the way we are for a reason.
I've found a few things that help me when I start to get caught up in comparing myself:
1. Turn off the social media. Yeah, that sounds obvious, but it's SO hard to do sometimes. Quit looking at her page obsessively. Stop eyeing those million-dollar houses that you can't afford right now. Start filling your eyes and heart with God's word. God says you are fearfully and wonderfully made. Read it, repeat it, believe it.
2. Start with gratitude. Thank God for all of the wonderful things He's created in you. Thank Him for all the things you DO have. Shift your focus. We are all blessed abundantly. Pray to see those "negative" things in a new light.
3. Celebrate others. It's really hard to celebrate other people getting something you want and don't have. It's easy to think you aren't good enough to receive the things you're asking for when so many other people aren't having to wait on it.
Like I've said before, you are worthy, and you are good enough.
Timing is everything. Start by complimenting her on good news.
Switch your mindset. Celebrate out loud. Take that step in the right direction.
Beating comparison isn't easy. Some days I struggle a lot. We have to make a decision daily to ignore the urge to compare, and trust that God created us on purpose, for a purpose.
He doesn't make mistakes.
xoxo- Halie
I can remember being a young child and saying those infamous words: "That's not fair." The comparison game starts as children, but we still do it as adults. We constantly worry about keeping up with the girl next door. Are our clothes trending? Is our home nice enough? Does our body look as good as society says it should be? Are we smart enough? The questions are never ending. Nowadays, with social media, we have everyone's "perfect” life right at our fingertips. How can we not constantly compare ourselves to those perfect pictures and captions? And honestly, how can we possibly keep up with it all? The "Perfect Instagram Life" is a lie. No one has a perfect life. Most of us show the moments of our lives that we're proud of; the happy, fun times that we WANT everyone to see. We want to be seen as having it all together, but I’m here to tell you that it isn’t possible.God created us with flaws.
I've found myself participating in the game. Most of the time I compare myself and I come up short. This leads to feeling like a failure, not feeling good enough, and even wallowing in self-pity. It creates a jealous, unhappy version of ourselves. Sometimes we can even be tricked into delighting in the failure of others because it reminds us that we aren't the only unfortunate ones. Ooof. When I get like this, I find myself becoming increasingly miserable. Nothing satisfies. I could spend $300 on home decor, and it still wouldn’t make me appreciate my home. I could go buy all the clothes I want, be happy for a moment, but then I'd find something else to complain about.
On the flip side, sometimes we can compare and come out on top. This creates arrogance and pride. We start to think we're better than others. I've been both versions of this girl. It's not pretty, and there is no winning this game. Comparison is a liar that eats away at the woman God created us to be. Comparison can manifest itself and affect multiple areas of our life.
When I first started singing at church, I felt like it was super clear that God had opened that door for me. But once I started participating, I felt mental opposition. Was I really good enough to sing with these people? I found myself comparing my talents, my weaknesses, and even questioning if God knew me as well as I did. I questioned my calling. I almost stepped down from leading worship just because I got caught up in the comparison game. I found myself questioning God's creation: me.
Do you know what we're doing when we talk down to ourselves? We're criticizing what God made. God does not make mistakes. He calls you and I his "masterpiece". God created us for such a time as this. He made us exactly the way we are for a reason.
I've found a few things that help me when I start to get caught up in comparing myself:
1. Turn off the social media. Yeah, that sounds obvious, but it's SO hard to do sometimes. Quit looking at her page obsessively. Stop eyeing those million-dollar houses that you can't afford right now. Start filling your eyes and heart with God's word. God says you are fearfully and wonderfully made. Read it, repeat it, believe it.
2. Start with gratitude. Thank God for all of the wonderful things He's created in you. Thank Him for all the things you DO have. Shift your focus. We are all blessed abundantly. Pray to see those "negative" things in a new light.
3. Celebrate others. It's really hard to celebrate other people getting something you want and don't have. It's easy to think you aren't good enough to receive the things you're asking for when so many other people aren't having to wait on it.
Like I've said before, you are worthy, and you are good enough.
Timing is everything. Start by complimenting her on good news.
Switch your mindset. Celebrate out loud. Take that step in the right direction.
Beating comparison isn't easy. Some days I struggle a lot. We have to make a decision daily to ignore the urge to compare, and trust that God created us on purpose, for a purpose.
He doesn't make mistakes.
xoxo- Halie